Graham Hoyle

Graham Hoyle
Murder Mysteries

Graham Hoyle served for 30 years in the police, 24 years of which were in the C.I.D. Special Branch and Crime Intelligence.

Graham enjoys a good sense of humour so when he retired from the police he wanted a new career that was something completely different that is both funny and entertaining so the Catch the Killer murder mysteries were created. As far as Graham is concerned the main object of his murder mysteries is that everyone can get involved whilst being entertained.

Graham has written over twenty murder mysteries, which he can adapt to any particular cruise ship, and/or its ports/destination.

He also relates anecdotes, both of amusing incidents and the serious crimes that he investigated; and of the various departments of the police starting from when he walked the beat. He calls this series of talks 'Criminal Entertainment'.

Updated April 2020

Graham writes and performs his own light-hearted and amusing murder mysteries which are very different to the talks given by other speakers. His funny murder mysteries are different because the suspects to the murder are played by volunteer passengers – and they love it.

He has made it very easy to be a suspect as their script does not require any preparation in advance and by using volunteer passengers it really brings the event to life with quick wit and repartee between the suspects and the audience. This leads to much discussion during the cruise which encourages the passengers to meet new people and make new friends.

Graham also relates anecdotes, both serious and amusing, about the various departments of the police force, starting from when he walked the beat in uniform to his time in C.I.D., Special Branch and Crime Intelligence. This series of talks are entitled 'Criminal Entertainment'.

However the real reason Graham is on the ship is to provide his murder mysteries so here is a brief description of just a few of them : –


A bank manager called MAJOR DEFICIT slumped over the table whilst in the restaurant on this cruise. He had been murdered - which is just as well as this is a murder mystery !! Was he murdered by the chef ROSEMARY LAMB or the waitress LUCY LASTIC (loose elastic), or a fellow passenger, a butcher called FRANK FURTER ?


The ships chaplain, the REVEREND NEIL DOWN found the body of a rich playboy called JUSTIN TIME in one of the lifeboats on this ship. Was the killer a rich widow called DEE VINE or a gambler called HADA BETT or even the REVEREND NEIL DOWN ?


The ships choirmaster IVOR BATON decided to call an extra rehearsal which upset the choir because it was their only night off. Later that evening he was found in the office behind the theatre. He had been murdered. Was the killer SUE PRANO, BARRY TONE or even the pianist IVOR REES ?


The Captain of the exclusive golf club was called COLONEL BOGEY. He was a bully and a drinker who had an eye for the ladies. Was the killer SANDIE PARR, CHIP SHOT; the green keeper called LORNE MOWER or even the lady Captain THERESA GREEN?


If the Cruise Director would like his team to be involved in a murder mystery this one takes place at a girl’s only boarding school. The body of a sixth form student called MONA LOT (moan a lot – get it) was found outside her room. Was the killer the history teacher called HORACE SCOPE or the local police man who is called PERCY CUTE.

BODY ON THE BRIDGE. If the Captain agrees to take part this mystery is one that is performed by the Captain and his senior officers. One Captain said ‘I had so much fun and enjoyed the murder mystery. Many guests stopped me and they all said they had enjoyed it very much'. Captain Jozo Glavic.

The theme is that when the Captain announced the name of his new First Officer a fight broke out between the officers. The following morning the Captain was found and he had been murdered. Is the killer the navigator, GAIL WARNING, the second officer, MANDY LIFEBOAT or the Cruise Director JACK POT?

Graham also provides some very funny Christmas murder mysteries. I am sure we all want to know WHO MURDERED FATHER CHRISTMAS and some of the mysteries are set around pantomimes. (Oh yes they are !!) such as BUTTONS BITES THE BULLET – but sadly BUTTONS didn’t catch it !

Graham can also provide some workshops that are not murder mysteries but more of an enjoyable brain teaser which involves a surveillance exercise on a criminal called STANLEY KNIFE. Teams of passengers have to work together in order to collate the information in the surveillance reports, then decide what crime had been committed.

ExpertiseAfter Dinner Speaking Comedy & Humour Criminology & Law Enforcement Theatre & Drama Unusual & Interesting - Check them Out!
Cruise Experience as Speaker/Tutor1.5.2014 Saga Pearl II 27.6.2014 Fred Olsen Black Watch 15.10.2014 Saga Sapphire 3.3.2015 Fred Olsen Black Watch 13.4.2015 Filia Rheni river cruise 6.5.2015 Saga Sapphire 10.7.2015 Fred Olsen Boudicca 8.7.2016 Fred Olsen Braemar 7.11.16 Saga Sapphire 8.12.16 Fred Olsen Braemar 26.2.2017 Tui Discovery 12.3.2017 Tui Celebration 9.4..2017 Fred Olsen Black Watch 19.3.18 Saga Mystery River Cruise on Johannes Brahms 18.10.19.A927 Azura Transatlantic; 1.11.19 A928 Azura Caribbean; 17.12.19 N937 Ventura Canaries; 4.1.20 R001 Aurora Caribbean/S.America Discovery: 29.2.20 F.O Balmoral L2001 last leg of America cruise


Theatre & Drama
Criminology & Law Enforcement
Unusual & Interesting - Check them Out.!
Law & The Courts
Christmas related talks